Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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