is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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