Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
