Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Randomize