Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
