And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
