Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize