well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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