omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i've created a new STD.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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