i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
