Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize