Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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