Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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