But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize