going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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