Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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