Umm I'm too high to move.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize