I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All the doctor said was why
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
