Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I believe in your delicious
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
