You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize