how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
