Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
