Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
