I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
God, I missed his penis.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
