So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
