Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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