How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
