I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
