How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
