Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
