I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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