So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
