Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

i wish starbucks made bloody marys

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(251): View more from Alabama

I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel

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(303): View more from Colorado

i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me

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(757): View more from Virginia

you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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(320): View more from Minnesota

What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.

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(831): View more from California

tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..

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(317): View more from Indiana

Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes

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