Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
