Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
