I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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