I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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