We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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