There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize