A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
