you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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