i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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