The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
