In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
