FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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