We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
