I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
