So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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