You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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