Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
