He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
