we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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