She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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