I must be too annoying 4 u.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Less talking, more tequila
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
