they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
