So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize