party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize