don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
