we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
