You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
