whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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