At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
