A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
